From the editors Desk

Hi folks welcome to a New Year, hope all those resolutions are holding fast.  A big apology, the newsletter is a week late this month, I dropped the ball on this one  just ran out of time  (my only resolution this year was to cut back on work so I could have more free time for pleasurable activities, obviously hasn’t kicked in yet).

The Newsletter is a bit light on this month as there have been very few contributors supplying stories, jokes, etc., everyone can take that as a hint to get into the act.

Keep Smilin

Nobby

PS: I am moving house in the next week or so, so my fax & home phone will not be  contactable until I settle in to new digs, mobile remains the same as does e-mail.

Newsletters are produced monthly. Opinions expressed by contributors do not necessarily reflect those of the Ulysses Club Inc Glasshouse Branch. The News Editor and the Ulysses Club Inc Glasshouse Branch accept no responsibility for any article or advertisement in this publication

EX OFFICIO POSITIONS

Hi Folks

It’s here again.

Another New Year’ Eve has been and gone as if in the blink of an eye or a heart beat.

New Year’s Eve at the Club was a small affair, but a very pleasant one.  Many people came in costume which was very colourful and good to see, photos will be on our website.  Thirty to thirty-five people laughed, joked and danced the night away t great music from the Jukebox.  Many resolutions were made, but will they be kept??

Now is the hard part – getting rid of all those Christmas kilos which seem to come on easier and easier each year and are harder to get rid of each year.  Come on, let’s get our exercise programs going again. I hope you all got some good rides in over the break, I know we did.  Dellis and I both hope you all had a happy and safe holiday break.

Don’t forget to get your name down for the election at the coming A.G.M.  The board comes down this week.  Last year was an interesting one but a good one.  Let’s make this year just as good.  Get your vote in for your committee selection next month and give the new committee a fair go. Make sure your membership is current or you won’t be able to vote.

Ride safe, ride far.

Cowboy.

STORM DAMAGE

Summer storms are here again.  A word of warning to remind those of you who already know and those of you who haven’t thought about it – if you get caught in a sudden summer storm and want to get out of it, don’t park your bike under a large tree.  Check out what is above your bike or if it’s windy as well make sure there is nothing that can blow down on your bike.

The photo shows what can happen.  It’s a brand new bike.  It happened at the Mt Glorious café just before Christmas.  Parked opposite the café and a sudden summer storm did the damage,.  took 4 riders to lift the branch off. Take care.

 Cowboy.

Cerebral Palsy Ride Day

Friday the 12^th of December at around 3.30pm saw a cast of characters from Glasshouse Ulysses assembling in the shadier parts of B.P South. Razor, Whip, Al Redding, Dennis, Sunny, TC, Sarge, Angela and Chazza all enjoying the moment of calm before Sooty’s arrival to direct and lead us down the highway to a waiting and excited group of Cerebral Palsy people gathering at Orama Park under the direction of their careers and Di Divine.

Our arrival on this occasion was greeted with far more excitement and lack of candour than last time at Fig Tree Pkt  Rd. The clients had shed a great deal of their previous inhibitions about motor bikes and the keenest wanted to forsake the ease and comfort of Sunny’s trike and Razor’s sidecar to opt for the balancing, hugging and hanging on with a calm but determined manor to the rear of Al, TC, Sarge, Dennis and Sooty as pillions.

Helmets and praise to the would be bikers was given out by Angela, Chazza and Di. For the next 90 minutes the enjoyment and pleasure factor of all these lads and lasses was a joyful and humbling experience to watch and the term beat em off with a stick could be aptly applied as the “I want to go again”, “It’s my turn” viewpoint was given out freely. By 6.00pm all riders had exhausted their careers and fading light and hunger determined a ceasing of fun activities to retire to the local community hall for a BBQ, salad and drinks.

The late arrival of two clients with an absolute passion for motor bikes prompted the ever accommodating Razor to go back on line and enhance the enjoyment factor of the late arrivals, which wasn’t easy as a little athletics group of about 200 midgets had invaded the circuit we were using. But special thanks to Razor for seeing the plight of these clients and only a trike or side car could accommodate them.

Thanks to all who attended and gave their time and effort, it was particularly grand to see that the clients wanted to go pillion this time and the effort, care and understanding given and shown by all riders there was done in grand Ulyssian style.

Many thanks, well done

Trevor Isherwood

Well Happy New Year to one and all and thank u for all your best wishes.   Tonight I have escaped from hospital thank god and feel 50% better now that I am at home.   Missing the air conditioning already. If you are in the area please drop in for a chat.  I live at 7 Coolgardie St, Sunnybank Hills.   I will be out of action still for a while but now in the very best of hands. Was not a good way to spend any xmas or new year but it at least gives me I hope more years to live and have more energy than what I had.

Again thank you for your support and wishes and hope to see you again soon,.    Jenny goes to hospital on the 6 Jan for an operation.   Only hope that one will be an overnighter.

See u for now need to get my breath back and back into bed.

Yogi 

For Sale – Wanted

Immaculate one of American Suzuki GS LF 572cc 1984 model, never registered till 1993, solo reg to 6/2004, low mileage, show quality condition, $5,500.00, Sarge 54952308

4 Man Dome Tent good condition $180.00, Swag True Blue Clancy king size has a zip up mozzie net, good condition $180, All-weather communicator 49 two-way helmet radio sets $400.00 ono, 02 Classic Grand Tourer Trailer:  Stainless rack, Esky on the front and bra included is a 29 Lt Engile 240/12 Volt  fridge Reg till 02/04 $3000.00, Ph Sunny 54762174 or  fig_jam4@bigpond.net.au

Spot Lights and brackets to suit Dragstar Classic and Custom $180.00 ONO, Ventura Chrome Gear Sack Rack with saddle bag brackets near new $120.00 Ph Maggi: 30480569 maggi_papa@froggy.com.au  

Humorous Stuff

Shamus & Murphy

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of 50 pence.

Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea."  He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.

Shamus said "Are you crazy?  Now we don't have any money left at all."

Murphy replied "Don't worry -- just follow me."

He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jameson Whisky.

Shamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we be in? We haven't got any money!!'

Murphy replied, with a smile "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks.

Murphy said "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth."

Said and done, the barman noticed them, went berserk and threw them out.

They continued this, pub after pub getting more and more drunk all for free.

At the tenth pub Shamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more o'this. I'm piss drunk and me knees are killin' me!"

Murphy said "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage -- in the third pub."

BLACK ROBBERS - True Story

On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat,"she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was tall...very tall...an intimidating figure.  The woman froze. Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me. Her next  thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her.

She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind but Gosh, they had to know what she was thinking!!!  Her hesitation about joining them in the elevator was all too obvious now.  Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator. Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed.

A second passed, and the another second, and then another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her. My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then one of the men said,
"Hit the floor."Instinct told her to do what they told her. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed. More seconds passed.

She heard one of the men say politely, "Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll  push the button."   The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up.

Confused, she struggled to her feet. "When I told my friend here to hit the floor," said the average sized one,  "I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am." He spoke genially. He bit his lip.  It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing.  The woman thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself.  She was humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed  her.  How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you? She didn't know what to say.  The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket.

When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear
 them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself off.  She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband.  The next morning flowers were delivered to her room - a dozen roses.  Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill. The card said:"Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."

It was signed;
Eddie Murphy
Michael Jordan